Brothers and Himself

Two weeks ago hubby lost one of his brothers, another one had died just before we went out to Oz. One had cancer and the other one Rick had a massive heart attack and died on his own, alone in his new council flat that he had just decorated and was so proud of. When we were out in Perth we talked often on Skype and he proudly took me 'on a tour' round his new flat showing me his decorating and was chuffed to bits when he bought a new saucepan set. 64 years old and pleased because he had new saucepans  - sort of puts things into perspective doesn't it?

We went up to Scotland a month ago and spent a lot of time with Rick and we had a lot of laughs, for my part it was great to sit and listen to the stories from when they were young. We left Rick laughing when we left, but that was the last time we were to see him, a week later he had gone.

And then, the family fighting started. I won't go into details but it involved a step daughter that he brought up, children (now in their 30's and 40's  that he didn't bring up) his sister, two nieces, one nephew and a post mortem that was scheduled, which after a week keeping us waiting, did not take place (still don't know why). Oh, an almost punch up at the crematorium after Rick's closest friend had been spreading mis information which got back to the people that he had lied about. Oh and one dented car when hubbies nephew backed into a fire escape in his haste to go and collect his daughter who had been rushed to hospital the night before. It wasn't a very good day and to be truthful I was glad on this one occasion to leave Scotland to come home.

Now I am sitting here tonight worried sick. Hubby hasn't been particularly good the past couple of weeks and when he had his last diabetic check a few weeks ago, the doc told him that he was going to have to go on to insulin injections today. Well he went and after telling the doc that his appetite has decreased considerably the past few weeks, he has actually put on weight, This is not a good sign apparently (as he is working away again, I wasn't as aware as I should be at how little he has been eating, and it had only really come to light over this bank holiday weekend....)

The doc has scheduled him to see a diabetic specialist and to have a scan of his pancreas (which hurts) and to have a camera down to see what.s going on inside him as soon as possible. So, as I said I am worried sick tonight.

Himself, who is equally as worried but putting on his 'of course I'll be fine' face, decided to drive back down to Kent to work tomorrow........

I love this man with all my heart, but I am so worried tonight. And he is on his own..