Monday, 11 April 2011


Three years ago, a lovely, sad troubled relative of mine decided that he had had enough of this world and all the pain it had caused him and quietly on his own in his flat, he downed a quantity of his medically prescribed pills and a large amount of alcohol and didnt wake up again. I can only imagine what he must have been feeling to have made the decision that he did. His whole life had never been what it could have been, he was a quiet shy person bullied and threatened by the very people who should have loved him the most, his own parents. I feel guilty so often that I should have done more to help him - for a long time he was lost to our family, he just simply disapeared into the vastness that is London. So many regrets and wishes that it could and should have been different, he deserved so much more.....

Tonight, through the enormous resources that is facebook, I found out that in the very same week that Chris died, so did a very dear friend of mine that I had lost touch with. Also by his own hand. He had been depressed and worried about debts and finances and could no longer cope with feeling like a failure in his eyes. He left behind his wife, another good friend of mine, and his children.

Tonight I am sitting here remembering two very lovely people and feeling incredibly, incredibly sad that they felt they had no alternatives but the final action that they took. I wish with all my heart they were still here.

Love the people you love and let them know it xxxx

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