Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Do you believe in a shove from the other side??

Well, apologies before I start at my distinct absence of late - it has been a funny old few weeks but more about that later. I need to tell you about what happened yesterday. But I also need to fill you in on Sunday too.

My next door neighbour is having an extension built, which suddenly seems to be much bigger and higher than we were lead to believe it was going to be - to the point that one of the new windows he has installed now looks over the 5 foot high fence and they will be able to see clearly into my bathroom, (downstairs) kitchen and dining room.

I was be-moaning this fact to Himself who was actually home for 24 hours (he has been working his wotsits off again of late) and he countered with 'I wish we had a house like Pam's.....away from everybody.

(Pam is a friend of ours who lives in the most beautiful cottage on a smallholding and we have both been suffering from a touch of the green eyed monster since we went to see her a couple of weeks ago.)

I raised my glass (it was lunchtime - honest !) and followed up with, 'I wish you could have seen Dad's smallholding where I grew up, you would have loved it, it would have been ideal for us. An acre and a half of land, right next to the canal, views of the the fields and the farms across the water.....peaceful, but near to town too..... best of both worlds really.....'

I had sighed inside remembering how lovely it had all been, yes I know rose tinted glass memories and all that.

Anyway we happened to mention the smallholding again later on Sunday evening, sometime before himself made the solo journey back to the Sunny South where he is currently working. Nothing much was said, just the wistful, 'if only' sort of comments that we all come out with at times.

Anyway to get on with the story, Dad sold the smallholding to a friend who years later sold the land to a developer who knocked our house down and built a pub restaurant on the site. I have been a couple of times over the years, its only about 5 miles from where I now live, but the last time Himself and I went they had changed the style to what I always call a young and trendies bar - It was bloody awful, honestly it was. We had half a drink and left. I was SO sad that day as we drove away, they had ruined it and it was awful and although I have been past a couple of times, there was no reason for me to ever go there again.

Well yesterday I had to go get some bits and pieces and having to go to one particular shop that I don't frequent very often, (about once a year) lead me to go through the village heading towards the smallholding.

I had been thinking about my Dad yesterday when I got up - it was his birthday and even though he's not physically here with me anymore, I still wish him Happy Birthday when I wake up - and as I set off through the village I was recalling the conversation with Himself from the day before about wishing the smallholding was still there and that we could live there and do all the things we want to do, and I distinctly remember saying in my head as I was driving in the beautiful sunshine 'I wish it was for sale - I'd buy it back... (yea, yea, yea and pigs might fly......right?)

As I got closer, I saw the signs - FOR SALE ! I nearly died at the wheel. The pub has closed - looks like it has been closed for a while and the whole site, my old home land is for sale (forget there is a whacking great car park where the pigs, chicken and fruit and veg beds used to be and a monstrous building with a crap interior.

I raced off to get my errands done and on the way back pulled into the car park. The hairs on the back of my neck were standing up as I walked about. This was SO weird.....was it a total co-incidence after our conversation on Sunday? Was it my Dad kicking me up the bum from somewhere far way? Fate? Who knows.....

All I can say is that I drove away from there feeling very very shaky and thoroughly mixed up. I had phoned the estate agents ( I had to, wouldn't you have done?)There is no way under the sun we could ever, EVER afford the price, and no way ever that we could raise that kind of money..........but just for one moment I was 'Home' - do you know what I mean???

I still feel really strange today and can't work out exactly how I feel. Strange is the only word I can use.

Now, can anybody give me any suggestions how I can find £450,000 apart from winning the lottery? And Dad if it is you, give me a clue where you hid the family jewels ! LOL

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