Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Changing Times

I haven't posted much recently. I haven't really felt very communicative - not the way that I usually prattly on. Truth be told, the past 6 months have been the hardest ones of my life. They have been the most sleepless, jumbled, fragmented, upside down months I think I have ever had. Changes have happened here at the Little Terraced House and more changes are still to take place, some very soon, some in a few months time. Am I comfortable with these changes? Deep I guess I'm not.....these past few days I am really struggling with all the things which are crowding my head and stopping me sleeping. And, because I'm not sleeping well, I can't think clearly during the day - it's all becoming a seemingly never ending circle. I know it will be broken soon, but much as I welcome the end of the brain swirling and utter confusion, I'm not really welcoming the big big change which is going to take place. And that's also one of the problems, I should be really really really looking forward to the future, and I am angry with my self for not being over the moon at the chance that we are being given, but I guess that in my heart of hearts, I dont like change - not to the degree that our lives are going to. I know I sound vague and probably confusing, well thats because I am confused. Confused and stressed over the changes which have already occurred and turned my little world on its head (probably not big things to other people, but big to me)and confused and scared about the change to come, and this one really will turn my life upside down. Bear with me, the next few weeks are going to be totally unlike any I have experienced before. And I am scared, unsettled, excited and terrified all in one little wobbly body. And I cant even get in the garden to make me feel better....

1 comment:

tea and cake said...

Oh dear, you are sounding very upset. I do hope you firstly, get some sleep and soon, and secondly that there really is a silver lining in all of this for you, as so many trying times turn out to have.
I am just in the midst of a big change, and one that I welcome, but am realising that, as no-one else is taking charge, then I must. I was hoping to stay out of this one but, deep breath, like you. And, here goes.
Big hugs to you.
Karen x