One of the reasons..

I haven't yet been able to see my littlies, (will see them tomorrow :-) ) but tonight's phone call melted my heart (yet again) and confirmed that we hopefully have made the right decision.

The little voice on the phone (who doesn't know we are here yet) saying 'where are you Nana?? I want to go Nana's house and see my books and Fireman Sam.....

The emotion and slight confusion in his voice about where his Nana (and his books) now are. His (and his younger brother's) worlds have changed. Their old home has gone, their books and toys were 'disapeared' into boxes when they were asleep, furniture went. Only Nana's house held the familiarity and continuity that they had always known and still knew even up to the afternoon of the evening when they flew. Nana and Grandad didn't get as many hugs as everybody else before they walked through the door marked 'Departures'  - Nana and Grandad didn't need as many hugs, because they were always there, they had been there constantly for weeks and were, well, just Nana and Grandad :-) Other relatives saying goodbye who were mere fleeting faces in their lives were far more interesting at goodbye time :-) Nana and Grandad, well they would always be there.....

The little voice said it all. We are so missed, so not part of his current new exciting 3 year old life. And Nana and Grandad, in his little world should be there.

So, because of him and his little brother, they are one of the main reasons we have made this move. Not the only reason, but one of the very main ones. Because of that little voice, because of that pull on our heart strings and because we know just how very precious that little man is. And, how blessed we are to be able to spend time with him.

His next major op will be next year - its the last of a series of 3 (although he has had to have 4) which are aimed to get him to teenager hood when he should be able to accept an adult heart as there are no childrens hearts available for transplant. He doesn't know he is ill, he actually doesn't look ill except for when he goes blue and suddenly goes tired, but ill he is and we know how very very special everyday with him is.

I love those two little men with all my heart  - they are chalk and cheese in personalities, but both so funny and so special to Nana.

I cant wait to see their faces tomorrow when they see us. What better birthday present could I have :-)

The Biggest Change I have EVER made....

Well, its been coming for a while.....I knew it was likely to happen. I have prayed it would and also prayed that it wouldn't happen, but now it has. We, have made the biggest change that could ever happen to a couple who are not that far off reaching the time in their lives when they should be slowing down.

We, instead will now be gearing up and working harder than we possibly ever have. We have made the change for a myriad of reasons. The economic climate has pushed us. Family members have our hearts. The working environment here in the UK has contributed and after 12 heart wrenching, nerve wracking, sleepless months, which I can honestly say have been THE most stressful I have ever endured in my whole life.

Deep Breath in......we have moved to Australia. Son number 1 and the 2 littlies arrived three weeks ago, we arrived 2 days ago.

I am so tired it is untrue - I'm not good at sitting still for hours on a plane and himeself, trust me, is even worse. But we made it - now we just need to adjust to the time difference and the jet lag and the fact that every joint in my body has seemed to have seized up in the past 48 hours.

I have made the change that has been pushing to happen and I have never been so scared in my whole life..................

Its the little things.....

It really is the little things in life that matter and mean the most. Tonight it was a sleepy little voice in the almost darkness that belonged to a just three year old who I thought had gone to sleep. 'Big hug, nana' murmured the little voice and struggled to free himself from his duvet to be scooped up in my arms, his head buried in my neck. I gently rocked him, feeling his soft breathing on my shoulder as we both listened to his almost 2 year old brother sucking on his dummy as he slept in the next bed to his big brother. I rocked and held and snuggled this precious little man who so very nearly wasn't here with us and for whom every day is a bonus. He had a good report from his 3 monthly hospital 'MOT' yesterday, buthe will need another major heart operation in about 12 months time. My heart cries at this, we all know that this has to happen and comes on the back of the 3 other major heart ops he has had in his short life, but it doesn't lessen my fears. The warm breath on my neck is so real and I don't want to put him down, don't want to let him go. We would go to the ends of the earth for this precious little man (and his brother) and very soon we may be making the biggest change in all our lives I could ever have imagined.

Garden Organic - Brilliant Day !!

I had a brilliant day today at Garden Organic at Ryton near Coventry. It was the Master Gardener and Master Composter conference and almost 200 fellow MG's and MC's from North and South London, Lincolshire, Norfolk, Leicestershire, York, Hereford and Worcester and Malvern were there. It was so good to be in the company of like minded people and we had some really good speakers, one of whom was Chris Collins, the Blue Peter gardener. He was a really nice guy and very funny. One of the best parts was that Compost Woman Sarah won the Master Composter Award, partly due to the great advice that she offers on her blog. If you havent read any of her posts before, pop over to her blog, the link is on my sidebar. I'm off to bed now - it has been a very very long few days, but today, being in the company of like minded people and spending time at my beloved Ryton Gardens has lifted my spirits which have been a little flat recently !

Changing Times

I haven't posted much recently. I haven't really felt very communicative - not the way that I usually prattly on. Truth be told, the past 6 months have been the hardest ones of my life. They have been the most sleepless, jumbled, fragmented, upside down months I think I have ever had. Changes have happened here at the Little Terraced House and more changes are still to take place, some very soon, some in a few months time. Am I comfortable with these changes? Deep breath......no I guess I'm not.....these past few days I am really struggling with all the things which are crowding my head and stopping me sleeping. And, because I'm not sleeping well, I can't think clearly during the day - it's all becoming a seemingly never ending circle. I know it will be broken soon, but much as I welcome the end of the brain swirling and utter confusion, I'm not really welcoming the big big change which is going to take place. And that's also one of the problems, I should be really really really looking forward to the future, and I am angry with my self for not being over the moon at the chance that we are being given, but I guess that in my heart of hearts, I dont like change - not to the degree that our lives are going to. I know I sound vague and probably confusing, well thats because I am confused. Confused and stressed over the changes which have already occurred and turned my little world on its head (probably not big things to other people, but big to me)and confused and scared about the change to come, and this one really will turn my life upside down. Bear with me, the next few weeks are going to be totally unlike any I have experienced before. And I am scared, unsettled, excited and terrified all in one little wobbly body. And I cant even get in the garden to make me feel better....

Some ebayers should be shot !

Recently I put on line a set of garden chairs and a small side table. I was pleased to see that 59 people were watching the items and I hoped that meant they would sell. I wasnt expecting a fortune, anything these days would be a help.

The items were listed as 'collection only' as they are quite heavy and to send them by a courier would have cost a fortune. In the end 3 people tried to out bid each other and the chairs finally sold for just under £30 - not enough to pay the mortgage off, but every little helps as Tesco's keep telling us!

The woman who won the auction came back to me after two days and asked me if she could pick them up in two weeks time as she was going on holiday that day. I replied politely and said that two weeks time would be difficult as I myself would be away. She came back to me later that night to say she would pick them up the next day. I emailed her my address and phone number and asked if she could let me know roughly when it would be just so I could make sure somebody was here to let her in.

She didnt turn up or contact me that day. The following day she emailed me to say her grandad had now got her a set and she didnt want this one, but no problem I should ask one of the other people who had bid, if they still wanted it.

I wasnt very happy. This lady had messed me about for 4 days. So I posted a Second Chance listing for the person whoc had bid the second highest, in the hope that they would still want the chairs, but 24 hours later, they hadnt bid, so obviously they had changed their minds or had made another purchase.

Then, things got more silly. I contacted ebay to cancel the transaction with the woman, so that I did not have to pay final value fees for an item which it appeared I was not going to get paid for. The response came back from ebay a few hours later, that the buyer was refusing to cancel the transaction and I would still be liable for the final value fees !!!

I emailed ebay again asking them to look at the situation which they did, and they cancelled the final value fee payment.

But then, more annoyingly, she has now posted negative feedback saying that the chairs and table were broken!!!!!! She hasnt even seen them !!! I am now having to ask ebay to remove the negative feedback. This woman is a flipping nutter !!! I really cant work out what on earth she is playing at.

All I can say is that thankfully the majority of ebay buyers are nice people and all of the previous transactions I have been party to, either as a seller or a buyer have gone through without any hitches. I hope ebay do sort this out, this is really annoying me.